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Weddings and Mental Health:
So you’ve been with your partner for many many years and NOW it's time to tie the knot and plan a wedding! Whether it's your first time getting married, or you're finally marrying the “right one''THIS time, the fact remains; this is STILL one of the greatest days in one's life and is sure to be filled with many “EMOTIONS” and “DESIRES” along the way!
Some of these desire can and will be met, for some; it will NOT.
*I want THIS but not sure we can afford it.
*I want THAT but that means we can't have THIS.
*I want to get married on this day but scared of the rain
I want to start by saying this; There is no “PERFECT DAY” but there “IS” at the same time!!
What do I mean by this you may ask; what I mean is it's all up to us in regards to what the definition of “PERFECT” is.
*everyone showing up on time?
*the food being exactly how you want it?
*the perfect venue?
*the perfect band and dj
*Or is “PERFECT” simply marrying your “BEST FRIEND”?
I say; start with the latter of the two and always go back to that exact point throughout the process, and throughout the rest of your lives together for that matter!
I'm not gonna lie, I’ve witnessed couples not making it through the planning stages because they simply couldn't agree and one thing led to another fight and that was it, not to say the wedding was the entire reason, but it definitely served as a catalyst. This particular couple couldn’t agree on the money portion, the groom was paying for it and the bride wanted every bell and whistle that was available, which led to many arguments! The bride at the end of the day simply didn’t feel like this would be her “DREAM DAY”.
My goal here is not to scare you; but rather give you some ideas that will not only serve you well while planning your wedding, but will also serve you well throughout your entire relationship!
LISTENING is the biggest one! Our dreams are meant to be explored, and just because it seems out of sight, doesn't mean there isn’t a way to make some of it happen, we may have to move budgets around to get to certain wishes, but there are many many possibilities to make things happen the way you want to! Just keep that in mind throughout the process!
I know some of these things seem CRAZY, but for your partner they are just a part of the DREAM, explore their dreams at hand, and if it's not doable at the end of the day,
just listen and respond with “EMOTION” versus FACTS. “I'm sorry babe, maybe there is another way to get you what you want, let's talk to the planner or explore some DIY things to cut costs somewhere else”. Even if you don’t think there is a chance, give your partner some HOPE so they know you are at least on the same page as she/he in regards to the DREAM!
If you're on the other side of things and the “other one is paying” for most of this day make sure you also factor this in while presenting your dream! “Hey Babe, I know this may seem outta of our budget but imagine this….” If we all look at all sides of the field “together” our “union” will be held together much easier than without!
For me, “mental wellness” for me is to be able to BREATH through all times and to be able to work things out in a beautiful fashion! To practice gratitude and thanks for all things! In this case my Partner and soon to be. This does go both ways and we must all be realistic as much as we are DREAMY through this particular process!
God is good ya?
“All the Time”
Well, until we make it not that is lol.
Things don’t always seem to be good! What IF you planned the perfect wedding day at an outside venue and it decides to rain that day? Or what if your maid of honor all of a sudden couldn’t make it? What if your planner has a “breakdown” the day of the event?
I've seen each one of these things happen!
Or are you gonna take this as a sign that your “perfect day” is ruined? Does it change EVERYTHING?
Everyone goes into panic mode for a moment but I’ll say this; they ALWAYS seems to be the ones who step WAY up and make the GREATEST out of EVERYTHING and at the end of the day have an AMAZING story to tell that will be laughed about for years!!
I'm a music guy as well and do a lot of outdoor style events that are often moved and redesigned immediately to adhere to the weather! “The show must go on '' sort of idea!
Find us here; https://www.facebook.com/ChefsAustin
Most of my shows have a “purpose” and look to raise money for many different people or causes. Let's say I’m doing a charity event to raise money for a friend battling cancer, as she needs this surgery and cannot seem to get to the last leg of dollars to get it! Am I going to let the rain take away what we might be able to do to help a friend? NOPE!! I'm gonna move the show inside and it's gonna be AMAZING, AND it’s gonna raise the exact amount of money my friend needs to overcome said challenge! But that's because I believe in the idea of what the event was created for, I don’t put energy into the circumstances but rather the “WHY” of the whole thing! The WHY always leads back to LOVE!!! Every single time!! So while planning ANYTHING just remember that LOVE is the greatest and ONLY reason to build upon such things..
Rather it be a relationship or an endeavor, LOVE what you do, and why you do it, as LOVE is the greatest thing that exists!
Weddings are a huge thing and that's why it's the biggest BUSINESS in the world! Try not to make your wedding day a set of business affairs that include putting you in debt for years to come!! If you can’t afford what your exact dream is atm; Maybe look into something you and your partner can do in your spare time together to make some extra dollars to get to that EXACT dream of yours! Or postpone it just for a few to get a little closer IF it means that much to you to have THAT venue or THOSE things on your menu!
Either that, OR marry your best friend and don’t allow things you “can't” affect what this day is meant to be!
Here's a tip for you! There are vendors out there that are truly in business to be a part of this special day with you! Some of these vendors will bend their own rules in order to give you a little more to get you closer to that BIG vision, even if you can’t afford it! Should you count on this? No! But God has a funny way of giving us things sometimes! Just BELIEVE!
Have fun planning your wedding and just remember to BREATH and LOVE the PROCESS as sometimes what WE think is perfect is missing one small thing that only came from an unknown factor ;)